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Healthy Relationships

What makes a relationship healthy?

Healthy relationships are fun and they make you feel good about yourself. You can have a healthy relationship with anyone in your life – family, friends and the people you date. But relationships take time, energy and care to make them healthy.

The relationships that you have as a teenager will be a special part of your life and will teach you important lessons about who you are.

Communication & Sharing

The most important part of any healthy relationship between two people is communication: being able to share things about yourself and your feelings, and paying attention to what the other person shares with you. This can happen by talking, emailing or writing, and even using body language. One way of showing that you care using body language is by looking someone in the eye when they are talking, rather than looking at other stuff going on around you.

Healthy communication allows you and the other person to feel comfortable with one another and figure out what you both like to do. You can also share your feelings with the other person and trust that he or she will be there to listen, support you, and keep personal information that you share private. In healthy relationships, people don’t lie. Communication is based on honesty and trust.

Respect and Trust

Disagreements may still happen in healthy relationships, but you learn to stay calm and talk about how you feel. Talking calmly helps you to understand the real reason for not getting along, and this makes it much easier to figure out how to fix the problem. In healthy relationships, working through disagreements often makes the relationship stronger. People also respect one another and themselves for working through tough times rather than giving up too easily. Feeling good about yourself – having good self-esteem – and knowing that you deserve a healthy relationship is also very important.

How would I know that I have a healthy relationship with someone?

• You feel good about yourself when you are around that person.
• You think that there is an equal amount of give and take.
• You feel safe around the other person.
• You enjoy spending time with the other person, instead of feeling like you’re pressured into spending time with him or her.
• You feel that you can trust him or her with your secrets.

If you don’t feel that there is good communication, sharing and trust, you are probably in an unhealthy relationship. Remember, though, that trust takes time to build and you have to take care of your relationships with thoughtfulness and patience.

If you are not feeling good about how things are going, try talking to the other person about how you are feeling. If you aren’t able to work on making things better together, you may need to end the relationship.

If it’s hard for you to stop spending time together, keep talking to the other person about how to make your relationship healthier. Sometimes, there isn’t anything you can do to make the relationship better, and staying involved can be hurtful to you.

You can also ask a trusted adult for advice, especially if you are having trouble leaving a relationship that doesn’t make you happy. By learning how to build healthy relationships now, you will be able to have them with people you meet throughout your life!

Frankandhonest.com is brought to you by ASK Education & Training Ltd. We provide training for young people and organisations working with young people. This site was created in response to countless requests from young people for a place to get answers.